“People, I just want to say, you know, can we all get along?” Rodney King, following the L.A. Riots, Jun 16, 2012.
Steven Colbert conducted a comedic “family meeting” with William Macy last week. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/william-h-macy-stephen-colbert-dad-talk_us_58301ec0e4b030997bbfa61c ) I like that idea. I like the idea of creating an opportunity for an open and honest conversation about what’s important, to provide an opportunity for folks who love and care about each other to hear each other talking about what they’re going through, thinking and feeling as we enter into our first “Trumpian” holiday season. Those of us who have learned the value of sharing what goes on in our hearts and minds, have an opportunity, some might say a responsibility, to lead the way. Friends and family as well as clients we support as mental health workers, will also benefit from practicing compassion as they share their blessings and their concerns over this Thanksgiving and holiday season.
Dealing with family issues during the holidays can be emotionally challenging in the best of times, having to deal with feelings about being left out or feeling resentful about obligations to meet others’ expectations.
Now, with the elections behind us having given us President elect Trump, there might be family members who feel like they won and others who feel like they lost. For those who lost the election, these are not the best of times and we all will benefit from learning to prepare ourselves for the emotional roller coaster which awaits us. I have already heard stories about families planning to avoid each other for Thanksgiving because of the Trump/never Trump split in our society. Family meetings (we used to call them “Pow Wows”) can help folks feel closer, as they recognize that we are all going through this together.
The first order of business would seem to require us to put our own house in order. As advised on every air flight, to “put on our own oxygen mask first” before attempting to assist others. By learning to maintain our own emotional calm and stability, we can be our best selves and remain much more likely to be successfully heard and understood. The Wolf Training Institute will send you “Tie Yourself to the Mast”, a 24 minute visualization and belly breathing exercise which, after learning to use it for yourself, you can learn to teach to others. You can request it from me at steve@Tamingyouranger.com
The second order of business, if you choose to take it on, is to assist others close to us to do the same, to calm themselves down. I like Colbert’s idea. By conducting a family “Pow Wow” we can create an opportunity for people in our lives to feel better by expressing their emotions and feeling heard without causing harm to valued relationships.
The third order of business seems to be getting on with the challenge of healing the wounds of our divided nation, at a personal, individual level and as a nation. Understanding this and looking within ourselves for acceptance, compassion and forgiveness of others’ differences is a good beginning.
While getting feelings off our chest and expressing pent up emotions helps, I believe its also valuable to encourage others to take action. By following through on thoughts or feelings one may have about contributing to a cause or supporting a leader both the cause or the leader benefits and each individual also benefits from the gratification of knowing they are participating in the solution. I also believe that asking our “higher Power” to provide us with compassion, acceptance and forgiveness of others’ differences will also help us find a way to mend some wounds, and stay connected with those we love.
I feel that I can contribute by emphasizing the value of attending to psychological and emotional challenges or our times and I encourage you to consider doing the same.
Please contact me at steve@ShrinkDifferentRadio.com with your comments and questions.