Author: Chris Gilge

As a Couples Therapist, I regularly explain to clients seeking to do Couples Work, that feeling Heard and being Understood are two invaluable skills which, once learned, contribute to correcting dysfunctional communication patterns while enriching relationships. As simple as it may sound, it’s really quite challenging. When we feel unheard or misunderstood, we don’t like it. We then immediately want …

Most people getting married do so with the best of intentions. They are usually “in love”, share common values and goals and are ready to commit to sharing their lives together “till death do us part”. However, the average marriage ends after 8.8 years, (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/17/sabrina-thompson-marriage-is-project_n_3942190.html) and “It is commonly claimed that half of all marriages in the United States eventually …

The Women’s March has come and gone. Hundreds of thousands of Americans joined together to support unalienable rights they believed to be guaranteed from our Constitution. These folks wanted all of our leaders to understand that attempts to undermine or dismantle our constitution will be met with strong, loud, united vocal opposition. I believe this was a moment of healing …

The Elder and the Sibling Society I first read Robert Bly’s book, “Sibling Society” (1997) after my 50th birthday. I had just published my first book “Romancing the Shadow” and was preparing to “go on the road” to do some workshops, when I panicked. I asked myself, “Who am I to go out there telling others my ideas about the …

“People, I just want to say, you know, can we all get along?”    Rodney King, following the L.A. Riots, Jun 16, 2012.   Steven Colbert conducted a comedic  “family meeting” with William Macy last week. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/william-h-macy-stephen-colbert-dad-talk_us_58301ec0e4b030997bbfa61c )   I like that idea.  I like the idea of creating an opportunity for an open and honest conversation about what’s important, to …

BEING HEARD AND FEELING UNDERSTOOD: KEYS FOR COUPLES’ SUCCESS As a Couples Therapist, I regularly explain to clients seeking to do Couples Work, that feeling Heard and being Understood are two invaluable skills which, once learned, contribute to correcting dysfunctional communication patterns while enriching relationships. As simple as it may sound, it’s really quite challenging. When we feel unheard or …

We live in stressful times and for many of us the pleasure from distraction or relief sounds pretty good every now and then, unless we get out of control. Food, sex, chocolate, the internet, TV, video games, work, love, Dust Off, Haagen Dazs, anger, jealousy, obsession: you name it, someone is addicted to it. But it’s not the “substance” that …

Wikipedia defines Addiction as “a medical condition characterized by compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli, despite adverse consequences.” ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Addiction ).  The clinical definition of Addiction often includes, Adaptation ( increasing amounts are required to get the desired effects) and Withdrawal (uncomfortable cravings or symptoms when behavior is stopped).  I prefer to define Addiction as any pattern of behavior which causes …

CREATING CHANGE: First suggested by Isaac Newton in the 17th century, Sea Captains used a sextant to assist them to set their course by identifying a celestial object, like the sun or the moon or a particular star, to head for a point on the horizon, then recalibrate their course to make adjustments to stay on track as they proceeded …

 “In a sandstorm, trust in Allah but tie your own camel” Trump and the Republicans are coming, whether you like it or not. What roles can we, as Mental Health Workers, play in the upcoming days, months and years of the Trump Presidency? Some of us are joyous because we believe we will finally feel represented.  Our nation needs the …