The Women’s March has come and gone. Hundreds of thousands of Americans joined together to support unalienable rights they believed to be guaranteed from our Constitution. These folks wanted all of our leaders to understand that attempts to undermine or dismantle our constitution will be met with strong, loud, united vocal opposition. I believe this was a moment of healing for all who felt pained and alienated as a result of the outcome of our last election.
The Womens’ March was a shared expression of personal responsibility for supporting a positive future: a collective action which allowed for the healthy expression of pent up emotions, which contributed to individual healing for all who felt involved.
Historic, tumultuous times are in store for us as a people fortunate enough to be living in a self-proclaimed democracy. Given the divisiveness within our society, It’s hard to imagine how chaotic it would be without our Constitution to rely upon for the basic ground rules for conducting politics, freedom of expression, maintaining order and governance.
As a Psychologist-moderator of www.shrinkdifferentradio.com, I am frequently asked “How can I assist my clients to deal with the sometimes extreme emotions they are having, whether they be fear, grief or anger, because they are contributing to hard times in peoples’ lives”.
My response is, “First you’ve got put on your own oxygen mask if you are going to assist others to do the same”. Once we figure out for ourselves, we mental health practitioners, can model positive ways for dealing with disturbing emotions, with the intent of sharing it with others who, in turn, can also share it with others, and so on.
THREE GUIDELINES FOR NAVIGATING DIFFICULT EMOTIONS IN TUMULTUOUS TIMES:
1) Stay informed.
Stay informed enough so that you know which politicians support your views and which do not.
Fifty-eight percent of eligible voters voted in the last election. 90 million eligible voters did not vote. This is not a time to stick our heads in the sand by imagining we can disappear from society. We cannot. Now, more than ever, we realize how much our vote matters. After all, while Hillary won by 2.8 million votes, Trump won a significant number of state wide electoral votes with margins as small as 10,000. http://heavy.com/news/2016/11/eligible-voter-turnout-for-2016-data-hillary-clinton-donald-trump-republican-democrat-popular-vote-registered-results/
2) Don’t annoy yourself by listening to or reading about disturbing events or by engaging in uncomfortable conversations. Even if you win an argument with someone you disagree with (you probably won’t) it isn’t worth getting emotionally upset.
As with most challenges to make changes in behavior, this is easier said than done. It’s easy to get seduced into listening to or reading about disturbing developments. It’s like scratching a mosquito bite till it hurts. So the “shrink different” point of view is to:
• first remind yourself that you don’t want to upset yourself any more than you already are. Even say it out loud.
• Then identify internal physical, emotional or cognitive cues which signal you when you are becoming more upset than you’d like.
• Take a breath,
• Remind yourself, “I’m getting upset” and then change channels, stop reading or tell the “other” that you’d rather discontinue that conversation.
• If you are beginning to argue with someone about an opinion or point of view, agree to disagree and find common ground upon which you can agree. For instance, what do you appreciate about the constitution itself?
3) Get involved. Do something. Donate your time or some money, even if it’s a dollar, to support a person or an organization or a cause you believe in because, like for those who participated in the Women’s March, there is a natural internal gratification that comes from knowing we are actively participating in our own future. It is healing for the soul.
Please send your questions or comments to www.steve@WolfTrainingInstitute.org
For a free MP3 of my Belly Breathing, Mindfulness and Mindlessness Meditation please contact me at info@tamingyouranger.com.