TRUSTWORTHINESS<\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0“The best predictor of future behavior is past performance.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u201cFool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me.”<\/strong><\/p>\n What is trust?<\/p>\n I define Trust as a measure of confidence in the consistency of an individual\u2019s or an organization\u2019s behavior.<\/p>\n Trust can also be defined as, \u201can emotion, based on one\u2019s confidence that a person or organization is telling the truth\u201d.\u00a0 This definition of trust implies ethical integrity and a commitment to honesty about past events, present thoughts and feelings, and future intentions.<\/p>\n One\u2019s degree of trust for another person or organization will depend upon which definition of trust is relied upon. For instance, let’s say you discovered for sure that someone lied to you about something.\u00a0 E.g. That he or she denied being at a particular place at a particular time and you had a photograph indicating that he or she was in fact there. If this was the first time you caught them in a lie you might decide to make light of it. If it was the second time you caught them in a lie you might become wary about believing them. If it was the third time you caught them in a lie you might want to end the relationship, (although many times we don\u2019t feel that we can). At this time, you might say, \u201cI don’t know when they are being truthful and when they are not, so I don’t trust them at all.\u201d<\/p>\n On the other hand someone else might say, \u201cOf course I can trust this person. Since the best predictor of future behavior is past performance, and since he\/she has repeatedly lied in the past, I can trust that he\/she is likely to lie again. Therefore, I know that I will be taking a risk if I choose to believe they are telling me the truth in the future.\u00a0 So, if I decide to “give them another chance\u201d, any disappointment I may experience is rightfully my own responsibility because I can\u2019t rightfully blame them if I decide to ignore what I already knew to be true about them.\u201d<\/p>\n This may sound simple but, like most psychological issues, \u201cit\u2019s easier said than done\u201d.<\/p>\n For instance, I know of one couple who fought frequently because she was always prompt and he was always late.\u00a0 When she continues to show up on time and he continues to be late she continues to be pissed and he continues to feel criticized.\u00a0 Because he resents the criticism, he distances emotionally and physically, and she feels neglected and unloved.<\/p>\n He clarified for himself how and why he creates the criticism by being late and she clarified for herself how she contributes to the distance by being critical.\u00a0\u00a0 Once each accepted responsibility for contributing to their own and each other\u2019s negative pattern of disappointment, they figured out how to satisfy their own needs while supporting more intimacy between them as a couple.\u00a0 She decided to bring reading material to read while she waited, and he would remind himself that he is setting them both up for frustration when he risks being late.<\/p>\n The same holds true when it comes to deciding who to trust in the public domain. For me, once I have clearly established to myself that someone lies, I listen to everything he or she might say knowing it could easily be a lie. Therefore, I continue to seek out those whom I trust to be speaking the truth while I watch with amazement those many folks who continue to be surprised when they continue to listen to known liars who continue to lie.<\/p>\n