The Elder and the Sibling Society<\/p>\n

I first read Robert Bly\u2019s book, \u201cSibling Society\u201d (1997) after my 50th birthday. I had just published my first book \u201cRomancing the Shadow\u201d and was preparing to \u201cgo on the road\u201d to do some workshops, when I panicked. I asked myself, \u201cWho am I to go out there telling others my ideas about the Psyche, Psychology, and the path of Self-Awareness and Self-Actualization?\u201d \u201cWhy do I want to do that? What is my motivation? Am I just doing it for the personal Ego reward?\u201d I concluded that simply seeking Ego gratification was not enough for me to make the commitment to take the risk of stepping into a more visible public arena.
\nThen I read \u201cSibling Society\u201d wherein Robert Bly teaches, \u201cIf one is an Elder, a wise mentor, and refuses to take the seat of the Elder at the Family Table, there is no Elder, so what remains is a Sibling Society\u201d.
\nWhile attaining a certain age certainly makes you Older and is worthy of respect, it doesn\u2019t automatically qualify you as an Elder; one who carries wisdom for the tribe. In contemplation, with humility, I concluded that, yes, I am an Elder. Therefore, with Robert Bly\u2019s assistance I recognized that, as an Elder, it was my responsibility to speak up, to participate in maintaining the voice of the Elder in our society.
\nToday, twenty years later, I am older and hopefully somewhat wiser. It is clear to everyone following what is happening in our country and on our planet that we are headed for turbulent waters. I see the necessity to support the Voice of the Elder today as being greater than ever. Therefore, I am still speaking out and I invite you to speak out as well.
\nAs an Alcohol and Drug Counselor, Therapist or Coach there are folks who regularly rely on you for guidance and support because they trust they will benefit from the education and guidance they receive.
\nHave you as a Counselor, Therapist or Coach, come to recognize and acknowledge yourself as having an ability, a talent, or a skill, to assist others to better handle often tumultuous circumstances of their lives?
\nHave you observed enough people benefiting from consulting with you, that you are prepared to step into that \u201cseat\u201d which comes to those who can humbly acknowledge to themselves that they do in fact have something of value to offer as a Counselor, Therapist or Coach? For real.
\nAre you ready to step into that seat of an Elder, willing to speak up to assist others to handle emotions and certain life situations with which you are familiar?
\nFor instance, we can support others to get things off their chest, to release pent up emotions, by suggesting a \u201cFeelings Conversation\u201d where folks just listen to each other. There is no argument or discussion over right or wrong or good or bad, but only an opportunity to express feelings and attitudes. This allows folks to be witnessed, heard and understood without judgment or contradiction, releases tension and is healing for the Soul. Sharing a breathing exercise helps to\u00a0ground the energy. (You can contact me at steve@shrinkdifferentradio.com and I\u2019ll send you a breathing method you can use, share or learn to teach).
\nIn these times I believe we will all benefit from asking ourselves, what is the best way for us to participate in supporting our values as we move into the future. Are you ready to speak up when you see others struggling with anxiety, agitation, depression or addiction?
\nWhen we speak up, we take a risk.
\nPeople may reject you, but that is the risk we must take when we recognize the internal responsibility to act or speak up, or to forever hold our peace.
\nWhat is important is that we know we are doing it for the right reasons and that it is always risky to own that Voice of the Elder because there are others who may challenge that voice.
\nOnly you can decide if you are ready to take the seat of an Elder.
\nAs the old Chinese proverb goes, \u201cTeacher with no student in class by himself.\u201d
\nTRUE STORY<\/strong>: A group of friends were concerned that one of us was struggling with alcohol addiction and that he was in denial of having a problem. I believed that I wouldn\u2019t be able to forgive myself if I did not make an attempt to help him so I organized an \u201cintervention\u201d with a dozen family members and friends and arranged plans for him to enter into a program.
\nHe was outraged, didn\u2019t enter the program and didn\u2019t speak to me for ten years. After achieving sobriety, he later thanked me for the effort, acknowledging that he wasn\u2019t ready yet.<\/p>\n

Please contact me with your questions and comments at
\nsteve@shrinkdifferentradio.com or 312 818 0203.
\nDr. Steve Wolf
\nFounder
\nWolf Training Institute
\nwww.tamingyouranger.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Elder and the Sibling Society I first read Robert Bly\u2019s book, \u201cSibling Society\u201d (1997) after my 50th birthday. I had just published my first book \u201cRomancing the Shadow\u201d and was preparing to \u201cgo on the road\u201d to do some workshops, when I panicked. I asked myself, \u201cWho am I to go out there telling others my ideas about the … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tamingyouranger.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/355"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tamingyouranger.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tamingyouranger.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamingyouranger.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamingyouranger.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=355"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tamingyouranger.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/355\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":356,"href":"https:\/\/tamingyouranger.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/355\/revisions\/356"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tamingyouranger.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=355"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamingyouranger.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=355"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamingyouranger.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=355"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}