Posted By Steve Wolf
TAMING YOUR ADDICTION
We live in stressful times and for many of us the pleasure from distraction or relief sounds pretty good every now and then, unless we get out of control. Food, sex, chocolate, the internet, TV, video games, work, love, Dust Off, Haagen Dazs, anger, jealousy, obsession: you name it, someone is addicted to it.
But it’s not the “substance” that creates the problem; it’s the addictive relationship to the substance that creates the problem. I define addiction as any pattern of behavior which causes your life to go out of balance.
Addictive behaviors are dysfunctional, out-of-balance patterns of behavior designed to protect one from re-experiencing old, often unconscious, painful emotional memories. The additional bad news is those painful emotions don’t disappear, they are just hidden from view.
Who gets to decide whether a particular behavior pattern is dysfunctional and addictive or not? You do. While you may be quite clear about an others’ addiction, they don’t necessarily agree with you, and vice versa. Too often our own addictions are least obvious to ourselves. Obviously, when the behavior results in getting caught breaking the law, you’ve allowed society to make that decision for you.
Regardless, if your behavior is going to change, it’s because you have decided to change it. The bottom line is each one of us has to decide if the consequences for continuing the addictive behaviors are worth paying the price for the pleasure, distraction or relief.
Breaking addictive patterns is so difficult because, not only must the brain get over its initial withdrawal from the over production of various neurotransmitters, but we must also re-train the brain to contain its desire to repeat the euphoric experience.
It’s hard enough to tame an addiction even once you have a clear intention to do so; it’s impossible without that intention. So, first clarify your reasons and your intention to change – for yourself. Next, write down your goals and include your plan for action if you don’t succeed.
Then, sign it, and, if you’re really serious, email your intentions to family or friends. Next, identify some inevitable addictive cravings and impulses.
Pick a date and go for it. If you are successful then your addiction’s protective shield against hidden emotion will be removed so be prepared to feel more anxious, depressed, lonely, etc. Therefore, Plan B should include ways to integrate previously hidden emotional memories your addiction had originally been designed to suppress.
I agree with Jungian analyst Marion Woodman, who views addiction as a substitute for blocked creativity. Creative expression can therefore be of great help, as well as talking with friends, journaling, the 12-step community, therapy, etc. Finally, prepare to celebrate. It feels great to gain control over those out of control behaviors.
I look forward to your comments and questions. Please write me at: steve@shrinkdifferentradio.com