A messenger announced to a village of blind men and women that the king is riding an elephant nearby their village. None of the villagers had ever seen an elephant so they sent three of their wisest citizens to discover, “What is this thing called an elephant?”. One blind villager grabbed hold of the elephant’s leg, another grabbed an ear and a third grabbed its trunk. They then returned to the village to share their discoveries. “An elephant is strong and solid like a tree trunk” said the one who grabbed a leg. “It flops like a tent in the wind” said the one who grabbed an ear. “It is hairy and wet and wild like a loose, spraying fire hose” said the one who grabbed the trunk. Each described the part of the elephant which they had experienced but none could see the elephant in its entirety.
We are all familiar with a psychology that recognizes Stages of Development. At its most basic level we recognize that infants are different form toddlers who differ from children who differ from adolescents who differ from adults. Children are not superior to toddlers. Adolescents are not superior to children and adults are not superior to adolescents, but adolescents are more advanced in their developed than children and adults are more advanced in their development than teens. While one doesn’t need be a psychologist to recognize that, although we can identify dozens of differences between humans living at these varying stages of development, the sum of all these differences cannot clearly represent the profound differences between stages. Each is really different from the other.
As an Adult Developmental Psychologist I recognize that human development doesn’t just stop at the stage we call “Adult” (let’s call it A1) but that we adults have the possibility of maturing into even more advanced stages of Adult Development (A2), which are as qualitatively different from A1 as the previous stages are from each other.
Stages theory and stages of development have been identified by some of our most brilliant psychologist predecessors over the past 100 years. Jean Piaget identified Stages of Cognitive development in the 1920’s. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean_Piaget) , Freud identified Stages os Sexual Development in the 1920’s (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erik_Erikson) Kohlberg and Gilligan each identified Stages of Moral Development in 1958 (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawrence_Kohlberg), Erikson identified Stages of Psycho Social Development in the 1950’s and ’60’s). Others have identified Stages of Emotional development, Stages of Grieving, etc. You get the picture. Each identified “parts of the elephant”. The “elephant” being the Stage of Development itself which is in fact much more than the sum of its varying parts.
Like the blind villagers’ description of different parts of an elephant, each of these Stages Theorists describe a dimension of human development. Since adults evolve through stages of development, like tadpoles becoming frogs, we can recognize these stages when we look through a lens of intellectual development, moral development, psycho-sexual development, emotional development, ethical or any other kind of development one might grab hold of in an attempt to understand differences between levels of growth or maturity. What is clear is that some adults are more mature from other adults. However, in the same way that none of the identified differences, nor the sum of the identified differences between children and adolescents or between adolescents and adults can represent the totality of the difference between humans at each of these developmental stages, A2 adults who have evolved into more advanced Stages of development are qualitatively different than those A1 adults living at earlier stages of adult development. And, all attempts to describe differences between the early A1 stage of adulthood and advanced A2 stage of adult development will not represent the totality of those differences.
One clear difference between the A2 stage and the preceding ones is that one does not need to want to become an adolescent or an adult in order to become one. No extra effort is required to mature because, absent the presence of a severe disorder, It maturation and development just happens as a natural consequence of aging. On the other hand, progression into advanced A2 stages of development requires the desire to advance and the effort to do so.
For example, one distinction I have identified between the A1 and A2 stage of adult development lies in A2’s ability and desire to introspect: to identify and take responsibility for their own role in creating repeated patterns in their lives. A1 adults are often unwilling and unable to identify and take responsibility for their own patterns of behavior or life circumstances and therefore remain convinced that they are never responsible for the repeated patterns they find themselves in. They continue to believe and blame others for how they feel and for why they continue to re-experience the same life circumstances and consequences. The dimension of their psych which is capable of self-reflecting has not manifested yet, like water that has not gotten hot enough to become steam. They are just not ready to accept responsibility and any attempt to get them there will probably end up in aggression or withdrawal and separation.
From this point of view, one benefit of drug rehab programs in general or 12 step programs in particular is, not only do they assist and support clients to address addiction patterns to control their behavior, but, by doing so these programs serve as catalysts for adult development by providing a structure and method for willing adults to learn to introspect, to take responsibility for their own behaviors and discover a sense of themselves now capable of understanding how they have been unconsciously identified with ideas about themselves and others which they learned early on in their development which no longer serve them if they are to create a more meaningful life.
As a result of their internal growth and development, often times, the rehab client finds it difficult if not impossible to be heard and understood upon returning home after what can be recognized as a successful course of treatment, because, while they have advanced in their development and become more aware, willing and able to self-reflect, significant others in their lives who may not have addiction issues have not been through the developmental education and training provided by successful drug rehab programs and may not have learned to recognize their own roles in contributing to their own experiences.
Therefore, learning to take responsibility for addictive patterns behavior becomes a pathway for advanced stages of adult development.
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