Wikipedia defines Addiction as “a medical condition characterized by compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli, despite adverse consequences.” ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Addiction ). The clinical definition of Addiction often includes, Adaptation ( increasing amounts are required to get the desired effects) and Withdrawal (uncomfortable cravings or symptoms when behavior is stopped). I prefer to define Addiction as any pattern of behavior which causes one’s life to go out of balance or out of control. We are all aware of the obvious substance abuse addictions. Many are aware of a variety of food addictions (over eating, sugar, simple carbohydrates), social addictions (sex addiction, romance addiction, etc.) and some behavioral addictions (compulsive gambling, compulsive use of pornography, etc), but addiction to electronic stimulation in general and to Facebook in particular remains, for the most part, unexplored and unaddressed.
Application of my Addiction Model for understanding behavior relies upon assuming that addiction functions as a Secondary Emotion. A Secondary Emotion, like anger or jealousy, functions as both camouflage of a vulnerable Primary Emotion, like sadness, emptiness, fear or low self worth, and allows for the direct expression or release of emotional pressure which produces a positive experience of relief.
Addictive behaviors similarly serve the Psyche by camouflaging those same vulnerable primary emotions, by allowing for discharge of emotional pressure and by producing pleasure. It is the pleasure seeking and the conscious and/or unconscious avoidance of discomfort or pain which cause addictive patterns to be so difficult to control.
Now lets take a look at Facebook in particular. In the same way that not everyone who enjoys a beer, a puff of weed or a little pornography every now and then has an addiction, not everyone who engages on Facebook is doing so compulsively, in an addictive fashion.
People may get offended or defensive when accused of being addicted to something they love to do. However, what about those folks we all know who can spend hours on Facebook everyday? Could there be benefit gained from using the “A word” (Addiction) to describe their behavior? I say, “Why Not think about Facebook behavior by applying an Addiction Model point of view?” It can help one self reflect upon whether a particular behavior pattern serves them or not.
After all, ultimately, its up to each one of us to determine whether a particular behavior pattern is in our best interests or not, because our behavior will only change after we’ve decide its in our best interests to do so.
So, to begin, I ask you, “how would you know if you were having a problem with how much time you are spending on Facebook?” What is an acceptable amount of time and what is not? Is Five hours a day OK with you? , or Two hours? or One hour? or 30 minutes?
I’d then ask you to identify how your over indulgence in Facebook is negatively affecting your life? Is it interfering with quality relationship time with kids, teens, partners or friends? Is it interfering with time you’d rather dedicate to work? or Creativity? or exercise? And how do you feel about not engaging in those activities?
Also, what’s the reward? Does engagement on Facebook allow you to feel productive even though you may be avoiding being productive in other ways? Does Facebook help with boredom or feelings of loneliness or isolation? Is Facebook the best way you can come up with to deal with those feelings?
The next question is, “If you recognized that you had a problem with Facebook, what would you like to do about it?” You can then challenge yourself to change your relationship to Facebook so that it no longer causes your life to go out of balance, or not.
In this way, the application of an Addiction Model to evaluate Facebook behavior can help you and your clients take more conscious control over an aspect of your behavior which you may not realize distracts you from pursuit of more meaningful priorities in your life.